What is Rape and Sexual Assault?
One in two young women will experience some kind of unwanted sexual contact before they reach the age of eighteen. This can range from flashing to rape and all of these experiences can have a lasting effect on the woman.
Please don’t suffer in silence – talking helps.
Here is what one young person said:
I was sexually abused from the age of 6. I grew up believing I deserved it, that it was my fault. By the age of 15 I was injecting heroin and at 17 I was prostituting myself for drugs money and sleeping rough. It was a health worker in a homeless shelter who first contacted the Resource Centre for me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I”ve still got a long way to go, but for the first time I have hope for the future.
Who Can You Talk To?
The Rape Counselling Resource Centre in Kilmarnock can support you if you’re over 16, or if you’re aged 12 to 16 and the incident has been reported.
What can our Resource Centre offer?
Helpline
We offer phone support via our helpline 01563 541 769. Our helpline operates Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 9:30am – 5:30pm. Outwith these hours, or if a worker is unavailable, you can leave a message and someone will discreetly return your call as soon as possible (our number is always withheld). If you are calling between the hours of 6:00pm and midnight, you can contact the Rape Crisis Scotland National Helpline on 08088 01 03 02.
Face to face support
We offer face to face support, either as a single appointment or on an ongoing basis. Our face to face support usually takes place at our Kilmarnock premises, but if you would prefer another location this can be discussed with a worker. Our office hours are 9:30am – 5:30pm, and we will do our best to arrange an appointment time that is suitable to you.
Please visit our website for more information at: http://rapecounsellingandresourcecentre.co.uk/
What We Know
We have supported many young women and girls who have been sexually abused, raped or sexually assaulted. We understand how it impacts on every area of your life, from your family life to your social life and your education.
Many of the problems and issues can be dealt with through support. It’s really important you get support as early as possible because this will help the healing process to begin and can also help prevent many of the effects being carried into your adult life.
Remember it is never your fault, no matter what has happened to you, who did it or what the circumstances were.
Things To Consider
Date/Relationship Rape
This covers being raped on a one-off date and also rape within a boy/girl relationship. Both are more common than people think.
The basic problem is about male attitudes – some males still believe that it is their right to have sex with a girl even if she does not consent. Males can use a range of excuses to try to justify their behaviour such as:
“I’d spent a lot of money on her, I expected something in return.”
“She asked me in for a coffee – no way did she just mean coffee.”
“She was all over me like a rash – she wanted it.”
And the old favourite ….
“She really got me going – I couldn’t stop myself.”
There is no excuse. No means No.
Cut your risks of date/relationship rape:
- never go off with a male you have just met.
- on the first few dates stick to public places or double date with friends.
- use your intuition, listen to what your gut feeling is telling you and trust it. If you feel something’s not right, get out fast.
- be aware that there are some males out there who would harm you.
- try to assert yourself and be confident with males.
- set your own sexual limits and boundaries.
- never let him talk you into doing something you’re not ready to do.
- if you are in a relationship and he is treating you badly or making you do anything against your will, try to get out as soon as possible. If you are frightened you can ask for help from friends, family or professionals like Women’s Aid (Tel: 01292 266 482)
Drug Assisted Rape
A lot of coverage has been given to what the media term “drug rape”, which is the use of drugs like Rohypnol and GHB to assist with rape. However, you are more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted whilst under the influence of alcohol. You can be given larger measures or cocktails without your knowledge, or encouraged to drink more quickly. This can impair your ability to make decisions or reduce your ability to give or withhold your consent to sexual contact.
Cut your risks of drug rape:
- be aware of your limits when drinking. In most drug rapes the victim is already intoxicated before the drug is administrated.
- never take a drink from someone you don’t know well or from someone else’s bottle or glass.
- never leave your drink unattended.
- try to observe drinks being poured or bottles opened.
- appoint a sober person from your group of friends and agree that you will take it in turn where at least one person will be an observer for the group.
- if you do feel strange or out of control in any way, never let anyone take you away. Stay with your friends and ask them to call a taxi or your parents.
Remember, the responsibility for rape lies firmly with the perpetrator, no matter how much you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, even if you have taken them yourself.