Who Can You Speak to?
Myths and Realities
Myth
Women will react hysterically or tearfully after being raped
Reality
Women react in a range of ways and can go through a wide range of emotions following the attack. Many women are in shock. This feeling may be so strong that a woman experiences disbelief or denial, refusing to believe that it has happened at all. Or shock may be displayed by crying uncontrollably, laughing or talking continuously or with displays of anger. There is no correct response.
Myth
I should never have asked him in for a coffee..
Reality
An invitation for coffee is not an invitation for sex. We have the right to invite whom we choose into our home and to be confident that our safety will not be compromised. No man has the right to presume that he can force a woman to have sex under any circumstances.
Myth
I was really drunk; I’m not really sure what I was doing
Reality
Taking advantage of a woman who is drunk and unable to consent is rape. Being drunk does not give a man the right to rape you.
Myth
I just froze. I should have fought more
Reality
When we are in situations of extreme danger, our bodies will react in a way that it thinks will best protect us. For some of us we will run, scream, fight – but for some, our bodies will freeze and be unable to move. We are not in control of this and it may be that this response will mean that we are less physically injured during the attack.
Myth
He’s my boyfriend, I don’t always want to, but he says he needs sex more than I do
Reality
Many women don’t speak about forced or coercive sex in their relationships as it can be very painful to admit that the person you love, who is supposed to love you, is hurting you. If you are experiencing forced or coercive sex from a man you are in a relationship with, your trust is being betrayed. Sexual relationships should always be consenting and loving and should never cause fear or pain.
Things to Consider
If you have just been raped or sexually assaulted
- Try to be somewhere that feels safe.
- Keep warm and drink plenty of fluids.
- If possible, see a friend or someone you can trust to be with you.
- Have any injuries treated by your doctor or at a hospital.
- If you think you would like to report the incident to the police, you can contact the police directly, phone the RCS Helpline or speak to a local rape crisis centre.
- If you want to report the assault, contact the police so they can arrange a forensic examination as soon as possible. They will want to get as much evidence as possible. So, don’t wash, eat or drink.
- If you change your clothes, put them in a bag to give to the police.
- Tell the police if you think you may have been drugged or your drink ‘spiked’. They will arrange for blood and urine tests.
- You might not feel like reporting now, but you might in time. So keep the clothes you were wearing at the time of the assault, don’t wash them and put them in a plastic bag.
- If you wash yourself, use safe products, not household cleaning products as they can be harmful.
- If there is a possibility of pregnancy you may want to take the morning after pill (up to 72 hours after) or have a coil fitted (up to 5 days after). You can buy emergency contraception at a pharmacy.
- Or you can go to your Family Planning Clinic, genito-urinary medicine (GUM) clinic or GP.
- If you are worried about sexually transmitted infections, you can have fully confidential advice and treatment from your nearest GUM clinic. You do not need a letter from your doctor. You don’t have to give the clinic your real name.
*Reproduced by kind permission of Rape Crisis Scotland http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk